Befriending my fear is far more useful than attempting to battle it
Postcards from Portland, an incredible Trevor Noah podcast and reflections on somatic abolitionism
I’m in Portland this week, a trip to give me some respite in a month that often feels difficult with multiple pregnancy and miscarriage anniversaries overlapping over the same time period.
And so, instead of being overwhelmed and slipping underneath the grief and fear that often emerges at this time of year, I am acknowledging my feelings and giving them space. Grief and fear are not setting the itinerary, but we are walking together, puzzling over an unfamiliar city, and remembering that beauty, heartbreak, joy, wonder, devastation, all exist together. Being sick these past few months has made me more determined to keep sticky emotions from congealing within me and blocking my heart. Without devolving into toxic positivity, I am keen to embody joyful, abundant living in the present, within the set of circumstances and life that I have today. Though it makes a good slogan to “beat fear”, and “overcome it”, my fear is me, and that’s never worked for me.
We all have things that are challenging for us: practicing vulnerability and putting ourselves out there in search of love, building new skills and seeking out employment, building new friendships, building our equity lenses. In this newsletter, I want to share with you how I try to work with my fear to live in closer alignment with my values.